he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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