It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They have beer where we have blood.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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