I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
