Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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