I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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