woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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