don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
