I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
