Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
