For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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