Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
