I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
