By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
