How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I got inside last night via doggy door
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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