At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
