i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
