Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
