i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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