Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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