Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
