Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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