i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
