just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How external is "for external use only"?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
