Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
