do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
