Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I have already put on my inside pants.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
