everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
