so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize