i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize