people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
