so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
