at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Drunk is a universal language darling
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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