white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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