i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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