Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
id be glad to
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
