Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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