So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
