Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
