I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize