is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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