He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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