I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize