I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
