I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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