Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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