I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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