WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
