I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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