You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize