Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
