with your own penis?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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