): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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