hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
