why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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