I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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