Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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