I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
