idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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